Hi Everyone!  I'm just picking up with my blog where I left off last year.  I had an email discussion with someone from this class today, and I was inspired to write about something I saw on Facebook. Ah yes, Facebook can give us such good fodder for blog posts!  :-)

One of my friends posted today and asked, "Does anyone watch the Miss America Pageant anymore?"  It made me think about how far we HAVEN'T come, in so many ways.  I must admit that you will see a bit of a feminist theme in a lot of my posts.  I'm sure some of what I say would also be appropriate for a Women's Studies class, or maybe even more appropriate, but I think, if we're discussing gender role development, it's important to look at the socialization piece.

The Miss America Pageant, to me, is pretty exploitative of women.  It is touted as a "scholarship pageant," and the winners do indeed win scholarships, but to me, that's a very small part of what it is. 

I grew up in Denton, and two of my childhood friends won the Miss America Pageant back in the 1970s.  They did have to have a talent, but the talent was such a small part of the pageant.  Mostly, it was a "beauty" pageant, and I remember both of these young women going over a complete makeover (one more than the other), and their talent was marginal, at best. 

When my elder daughter was about three or four, one of my then husband's friends saw Courtney's picture and insisted that she should be in a pageant.  We thought about it, and we succumbed to the pressure.....ONCE!  We invested about $300 in a pageant dress, shoes, hair bow, entry fee, etc.  And back in 1987, that was a lot of money for a young married couple with a small child.  It might have even been more than that.  I don't really remember.

But when we went to the hotel where the pageant was being held, we had no idea what we were in store for!  There were "stage mothers" who CLEARLY had done this for awhile, and they had their little girls all made up, with rollers in their hair, etc.  I remember one of them saying to their little girls, "Pretty feet and hands, pretty feet and hands!"  There were mothers and grandmothers in the dressing area, and many of the little girls were crying or whining, and the mothers were losing their patience.

We had no makeup or rollers. Courtney's hair was (is) naturally curly, so we didn't really have to worry, but, OMG!  what a production this was.  And the poor little girls! I could only feel sorry for them!  You've probably seen some of the reality shows and/or Dateline shows or something, where they've shown clips of some of these pageants.  It was horrifying! 

That was our one and only experience with a pageant.  We had a younger daughter six and a half years later, and the thought never crossed our minds with her.  Never, never, never would we ever subject our child to that again.

But anyway, back to Miss America.....well, I guess the little girl pageants are a part of all that.....I thought we might have come farther than we have, when it comes to exploiting and objectifying women.  And I guess there aren't as many people who watch it as there once were, but apparently there are enough to warrant their having it televised nationally!  And one of my younger daughter's bridesmaids competed in the Miss America pageant last year. 

I will talk about Hooter's and Twin Peaks another time!  :-)  I won't bore you any longer with my commentary.  I could go on......  :-)

Dr. G

I have been thinking about the topic of "gender nonconformity."  This is a relatively new label that has been created out of our continuing evolution of gender and gender roles.  When we look back even 40 or fewer years ago, the line between genders was so thick and wide!  Over time, we've evolved to the point where gender roles and gender expression are becoming more and more fluid.

When my first daughter was born, 29 years ago, I was determined that she would be "androgynous," and that I would give her the opportunity to explore her gender expression in a way that evolved naturally for her.  I was careful not to use pink.  I used primary colors in her nursery.  I used balloons, rather that soft "girly" stuff.  Her clothes, at least when she was really small, were pretty gender neutral.  I was sure to buy her as many blocks and fire trucks as dolls and dishes.  Her dad wasn't particulary vocal about any of it.  He left that kind of stuff to me.  Of course, if we had a boy first, I'm thinking he might have had more of a say, had I bought dolls and dishes for our son.

But, as my daughter grew, she gravitated toward the dolls and dishes, regardless of the toys that were in her room.  The blocks stayed boxed, and the trucks wheels remained unworn.  Her clothes became more frilly, and the gender neutral clothes ended up in a garage sale.

I'm not sure how this happens, but I'm sure that some of it is biological, and some of it is social.  I'm sure that when she started Montessori school at 3, much of her gender expression was influenced by her peers. I remember when she was three, and I tried to get her to wear pants to school so she could play more freely, and she said, "Amy H says girls don't wear pants!!"  She was adamant about NOT wearing pants, but I finally got her to wear them that day.  However, after that battle, I surrendered.  I realized I was going to have to pick my battles, and that wasn't going to be one of them.  From then on, and with my second daughter, they picked their clothes, whether I liked them or not. 

The gender nonconformity issue with the boy in this story is a little more extreme than my experience with my daughters was, but it did remind me of those days.  I think it's great that parents support their children's choices about gender expression.  I don't necessarily like that the parents have made such a big deal about it, to the point of the mother writing a book and having their son on national television.  I realize that she's speaking out so that other parents may understand, but I also see a little exploitation here. 

Bottom line, I'm glad we're talking about it.

Dr. G

Hi Everyone!  I look forward to writing some of my ideas down and to reading some of your ideas about gender role development. 

I am a staunch feminist from WAY back, and I think I've always questioned the gender roles that have been created by society.  I used to lean in the direction of completely "nurture," in terms of the roles that we grow up fitting in.  Now, as I've continued my studies, I've observed human behavior more, and I've had children of my own, I see that we definitely come into the world "hard-wired" to behave a certain way about some things.  I think nurture does have a big impact on how we turn out, but I definitely think we are born with a make up that just is what it is. We can have some good discussions about that, I think.  There are differing opinions about this.  I'm open to all!

Even as a child, I think I questioned the roles of "boy/girl" "man/woman," as dictated by our society.  When I was a kid, I wanted to play the drums, and back in the 60s, when things were radically different from what they are today, it wasn't acceptable for me to take drum lessons, as far as my parents were concerned.  I remember them saying that "girls don't play drums."  Well, gosh, I don't remember when I ever was very "girly" anyway, so I don't know why my wanting to do things that were traditionally male activities ever came as a surprise to them.  I played football, basketball, baseball, army, etc. with the boys everyday.  Maybe they were just trying to get me to be a little more feminine, so that I was more "acceptable" in society.  I don't know.  I'm just thinking out loud.

Oh my.  I could SO go on about all this.  I just wanted post a little bit this time, just to get started.  I will continue to write "as the spirit moves me," as my grandmother used to say.  :-)